I'd Love to But......

Yesterday, it was jokingly said that I might be bitter about all the love vibes floating around. “Sigh!” Perhaps this individual was correct, although I don’t like the adjective “bitter” – it implies I am not happy for the lucky individuals and that I am on my way to 6 cats and a lap rug. I would go with “envious”. But this did cause me to ponder the matter for awhile and I’ve decided that I don’t really want the adjective “bitter” associated with my name – so I am henceforth going to stop whining about the love in the air (although even the characters on my favorite TV shows are hooking up – COME ON!!!). I am going to focus my energies on more creative endeavors – such as watching the spiders in Yatsuo quadruple in size! Their butts are getting so big!! Probably hooked up with another spider and got pregnant – oopps – heading down that slippery slope again…..
I’ve even decided that I will stop teasing my favorite couple – although that will be difficult, as I get “separation updates” – i.e. I haven’t seen blah blah in 4.5 hours – come one – that is just waiting for me to make a comment. LOL! (love you guys tons!!) And it’s my nature to be witty and sarcastic (please no comments).
Before I start this new life of Zen meditation and happy thoughts – I am going to throw one last hook out there in the event a stranger stumbles across this little blog. So here is my personal ad:
SWF, reubenisk in stature, loves: traveling, inarisushi, calbee potato sticks, squished pennies, pina coladas and getting caught in the rain. hates: ironing, smoking, crusty clothes, mean kids and snakes. Looking for SWM, 25 – not too old, same interests, sense of humor, wades of cash (so we can travel) and good stamina in bed and while cleaning the house. Serious or semi-serious inquires only, I get enough freaks thru YAHOO IM.

Sex, Love and Potato Chips

Where to start? Okay we’ll go with the potato chips – today I received a package from Ruth. The packing slip indicated there were potato chips inside and I thought to myself “Why would Ruth send me chips – they have them here?” Then I opened the box and light shown forth and a tear came to my eye. For there inside the box were three bags of Miss Vickie’s Sea Salt & Malt Vinegar chips. If Diet Coke is the nectar of the gods then these chips are manna!!!

So what about love? It's in the air for some of the characters on “Toyama 939-2376”. Hand holding and other general silliness associated with love/lust abounds. I, of course, am happy and envious for all involved. Where is my Brandon or Dylan? LOL. Tiffany did volunteer to club a guy over the head for me so I could have my way with him – I am still considering that offer. Also on the love front – I love the weather right now and yesterday I loved my school lunch. The weather is very fallish and no humidity – I will take this for as long as it wants to last. As for the lunch, I could eat EVERYTHING. There was even a little side of cream cheese for my bread – it was like an early xmas present. What else do I love today?? Ah, I went to the Windys, the gym I joined, last night and enjoyed the swimming pool and 5 hot tubs. I LOVE the bubble spa – it’s my favorite place in Toyama (even better then AEON). I have also lost 8 pounds – YEAH – now to keep that trend going. Otherwise, I really will be the sumo wrestler that some carnie food vendor at the festival I went to on Sunday called me. I hope that dude gets poked in the eye with one of his meat stick squewers!!

As for sex - this last weekend was the Toyama JETs Welcome Weekend - an overnighter at a campground at the base of Mt. Tateyama. The intent is for the 100+ JETs in Toyama to get to know each other better. I can honestly say some people definaltly "know" each other better. As for my impression, the event was rescued from mediocrity by the awesome group of people I hang out with (thanks “cool kids”). 12 cabins, 50 beds and 80 people – what’s wrong with this picture (no, not the picture below - LOL).

However, I do have one excellent story, as heard second hand from someone who was there. Here goes: (This story was better in the original telling because the storyteller had the annoyed occupant sounding like Dr. Evil.) My friend and I deposited two very intoxicated individuals in our cabin for safety reasons – they had started to roll down hills and fall over stuff. They ended up on the futon I had earmarked for myself (I ended up sleeping in the car). But they were safe and sound so we headed back to the festivities. Sometime after we left, the two started to get ‘friendly’ and this disturbed one of the other occupants. So the annoyed occupant says “If you have sex in this cabin, I will f&^king kill you!” So the two stop for a bit, but they start up again and the AO says “Did I tell you how I will kill you? I will slit your f^&king throats!” And that put an end to that – LOL. So that was one couple that didn’t end up ‘coupling’ but given the amount of alcohol flowing – I am sure someone got lucky – hehehe!

I had my second Japanese class tonight and I need to go soak my swollen brain for a bit. I now have COMPLETE compassion for my students!! Especially the boy who started crying in class today – I feel you brother – languages do suck! Who decided it would be a good idea to live in a country with four writing systems and 5000+ pictograms??? God bless Tiffany, Ryan and the others who translate menus for me – I love you!!
Well, this is my second time writing this blog cause my computer is being a bitch – so maybe it’s time for Danielle to say goodnight!!! Peace out!!!

Are you looking at ME?

I said are you LOOKING AT ME?? I swear to god this fish was talking to me!!! This is just an example of the delicious fish that greets me on a daily basis at school. When they asked if I wanted to buy school lunch I asked “Is there much fish?” to which they replied “No”. LIARS! It’s pretty much been fish every day – with a blissful pause for one day of curry rice and one day of chicken. So I just smile and say “oishii” and hide the bodies under my weird veggies (unless they are in the peanut sauce cause that is good stuff). I have also started a seaweed packet collection for Ryan – cause that boy loves this stuff – ewwwww!
So today was the best weather day, to date, in Toyama. Sunny, coolish, nice breeze. I was singing “Oh What a Beautiful Morning” on the way to school. Of course this weather means the huge spiders and their webs have quadrupled. Pedestrians beware of lurking webs. Tiffany is convinced they are out to get her and are weaving her name in their webs – could be true!
In a previous post, I mentioned that this place was a bit like the “Loveboat”, I would now like to amend that impression. This place is defiantly more like “Melrose Place/Beverly Hills 90210”. Toyama 939-2376 – where the girls are not quite as devious and the boys aren’t half as cute – LOL. And I am “Andrea” the old fart playing a high school student – OMG – so true, so true. Now I need to conger up a love interest for my character!! Seriously, this place really does feel like a TV show sometimes – I can watch what happens and I’d love to throw my shoe at the characters on the screen – but I don’t want to F#@# up my TV. Cause I like the TV and I love those characters!
This whole Japan experience is a bit unreal in a strange way. Sometimes I think, “Am I really doing this? Living and working in Japan?” Perhaps this is the reason for all the TV references. Well, whatever it is – it’s all good. Making lots of friends, acting the big sister (a role I kinda like), and generally having a great time. What will I do when I have to go home to the “real world”? Sigh!

Exactly what color IS hisui?

I should have asked myself this question before I want searching for hisui (jade) on the beach yesterday. I now have a nice collection of green rocks, when, in fact, jade in its raw form is white (at least here). HOWEVER, due to the kindness of an old Japanese grandma, I do have a few small pieces of jade from the Hisui Coast. And I am less one bookmark, as I gave it to her for her kindness. Need to start carrying Michigan trinkets in my bag for occasions like this. This outing was just one of many during my first three-day weekend in Japan. Gotta love all the national holidays here – this month was Respect for the Aged day. Rock on old fogies – thanks for the day off.
On Saturday, I traveled with 6 of my fellow JETs to Kanazawa, one of the largest cities in this neck of the woods. It still has most of it historical sites as the US spared this city during the WWII. We went to the third most famous garden in Japan and the Ninja temple (which has nothing to do with Ninja – much to the disgust of a few of my fellow travelers – the hard core Japanophiles). I thought it was a pretty cool place – trap doors, hidden stairs, hari kari room (you can get in, but you don’t come out), fake doors, etc. This place was built as a Buddhist temple – guess they were a wee bit paranoid back in the day. We ended our trip with dinner in Toyama at an awesome Japanese bar/restaurant. I need Ryan or Tiffany when I go – cause no picture menu and I can’t speak the mother tongue here – LOL. But then Ryan misunderstands English (that tricky language) and we end up with 27 pot stickers – but I digress. The real highlight was dessert. We ordered breast ice cream just to see what is was. And it turned out to be vanilla ice cream in a balloon with the top cut off so you had to suck the ice cream out of the “breast”. This turned into quite the humorous event.

Sunday was a lazy day for me. I hung out in my pjs for quite awhile. Ended up going to AEON (the best place on earth) with Tiffany and Satoshi. I don’t believe I’ve mentioned this before but Japan likes to sell stuff in vending and capsule machines (like we have were you get a yo-yo for 50cents). So while in ToysRUs, I stumbled across the mother load of capsule machines and low and behold – they had one that sold tiny Japanese stacking (nesting) dolls. In 5 colors no less!!! I am now the proud owner of 4 of those 5 colors with a few extras to send home to the kids (I did mention this is a capsule machine right?? I probably wont’ even try for the last one – but I say “probably” LOL). I was so excited to add to my collection. And then to top it off, Satoshi is a pro at the crane game and he gave me 2 of his winnings – how sweet is he??? (simmer down folks, still no china patterns please).

A "Little" Sumo Summary

I realize I haven’t talked to much about the actually teaching around here. That could be because I don’t actually do much teaching around here. On a good day, I will have three periods with one of two types of classes. 1 – 35 students looking either bored or scared or 2 – a bunch of lunatics running around, shouting out words (hey, at least its English), stealing my props and wearing them and begging me to give them one of my squished pennies. And to be completely honest – I love the lunatics – they are a lively bunch and it’s hard to not laugh during class. The only lesson I’ve done so far is my self-introduction and to be completely honest, I am tired of hearing about myself. I must admit the one spicy event related to this intro was when my ichi-nensei teacher asked me if all Americans were big (said after looking at pictures of my friends). Um……. And then he tells me with actions that the last ALT was a big girl – good lord what will this man say about me when I am gone?? But, anyway, this is a comfortable lesson and unfortunately now I have to come up with some new stuff and that scares the sushi out of me! I am trying to start a local JR High school lesson plan-sharing ring. But truth be told – I kind like being in the classroom – even though me and the kids don’t understand each other at all – it’s awesome when one smiles at me or asks me questions in the hall.

So this week I decided to walk around the school during lunchtime – and let me tell you it was pandemonium!! Kids were EVERYWHERE – in the halls, hanging out windows, on the desks, etc… And there sat the poor homeroom teachers with looks of abject boredom and “anywhere but here” looks on their faces. But the funny thing is these teachers truly love these students - and that maybe the problem – how can you discipline a kid you consider your friend? It’s so totally “un-American” it’s mind-boggling.

Today I shed a tear for the two lone fat kids in my school. Not because they are big and the teachers call them fat. But because they are in the Sumo club – hell – they ARE the sumo club. It just seemed extremely sad to me that they might be there because they are fat and not cause they want to wear a diaper and wrestle with other big kids. The one is just so cute – I want to hug him all the time.

I’ve also been hanging with the locals in Toyama – they are a lively bunch – LOL.

Excuse me while I fall off my soapbox…….

Please indulge me while I rant about some thing I don’t like doing in Japan: my laundry. I am not referring to the actually act of washing – I did that at home, I can handle that. What I don’t like is the fact that it is all cold water wash and after a trip to my tiny washing machine my clothes DO NOT smell clean. MOREOVER, despite the fact that hot water is a foreign concept, I STILL managed to have a pair of my socks bleed onto one of my new polo shirts. Even my loving ministrations in a hot shower with tons of soap couldn’t remove said stain. In addition to that, I don’t have a dryer so I have to hang all and sundry out for the neighbors to see. Then it takes 4 weeks for everything to dry and dry in the most unimaginable wrinkly mess you have ever seen – and I REFUSE to iron. I end up wearing stiff, damp, wrinkly clothes. People probably think I am a bum. If someone wants to send me some cold water Tide and a dryer – I would be extremely grateful.
On a positive note, I am now a HUGH fan of hi-tech toilets. I’d love to share why, but what happens in Japan, stays in Japan – LOL. You’ll just have to visit to understand.
Saturday I participated in that scared Japanese ritual – Sports Day. Of course, this will be covered in depth in my October newsletter. For 8 hours, in some crazy heat, I sat outside and watched the kiddies play a wide variety of games –from mild mannered relay races to beat-the-crap-out-of-your-fellow-students-with-a-rolled-up-piece-of-newspaper game. I even got to participate in the PTA event – my team lost, but I got a box of Kleenex tissues for my effort. It was blazing hot and I had the utmost sympathy for this kids who gave their all when participating in every event. Hate to say it, but Sports day would go over like a ton of bricks in the States. Imagine telling a 15 yr old boy he has to participate in the dance routine or the anti-athletic kid that he has to run a 100-meter dash in 35C weather. Hum – not so much.
Saturday night was karaoke with the JETs. Another 2 hours of all-you-can sing and drink for 20 bucks. I managed to get my moneys worth - LOL. To say it was a memorable night would be an understatement – but it was truly a night that I will never forget. I’d love to share – but the innocent need to be protected. Via La JET Program!

Lunch is Like a Box of Chocolates......

you never know what you are going to get. I’ve enjoyed the school lunch four times so far and three of those four times it’s been fish or fishy. I’ve adopted a “don’t ask, don’t gag” policy. I managed to eat my fried fish and what I assume were some type of scallop (I peeled off the slimy looking stuff), but I just could not stomach the sardines complete with tin foil looking skin and intestines hanging out. Lunches also include a soup-like dish – today I believe it was tofu surprise with scrambled eggs on top. The good news is that every now and then the lunch gods smile down on me and include a nice loaf of bread or tiny blueberry pie to mask the taste of the other stuff. But I feel I should continue purchasing school lunches because it’s the norm, I don’t want to be the “outsider”, and it makes for great stories!
Yesterday at Sugihara, while making the rounds during cleaning time, I was presented with my very own broom and advised that I could clean anywhere I wanted in the school. I suppose I could take this as a “start cleaning, slacker!!” warning – but I chose to focus on the fact that I got a present and some direction. At Yatsuo, I was praised for sweeping around the teachers room – seems past JETs have poop-pooped the cleaning ritual. I was just trying not to stand around while kids scrubbed the floor with a washcloth – didn’t seem right.
HAPPY ONE MONTH ANNIVERSARY!! Hard to believe I’ve been here a month – it feels a lot longer, but in a good way. Things are starting to feel familiar, I can drive like a pro on the left side of the road, and I like my tiny apartment. I start Japanese lessons next Tuesday and I bought a tennis racquet at the Japanese Value Village so that I can play with the kids after school. I bought school supplies (I LOVE SCHOOL SUPPLIES) for my classes and have to come up with prizes for the students at some point. In a word – life is awesome. Sometimes I can’t believe I am actually living out one of my dreams. Somebody pinch me!

Summer's Here and the Time is Right.......

for dancing in the streets. This weekend was the Owara Kaze no Bon festival in Yatsuo. My normally peaceful quiet town turned into the State Fair. There were people EVERYWHERE. And you don’t mess with Japanese tour groups – you either get out of the way or get run over. It was exactly like an American festival - street vendors selling plastic swords, blow up toys, and light up trinkets. Food vendors selling donuts and snow cones and octopus balls (ah yes, this is JAPAN). I had three people spend the night - my first sleepover in my first apartment - yet another milestone - LOL. This event will be covered in depth in the November newsletter. Now onto an even better story.......
Today I discovered the real reason I was destined to come to Japan and more importantly, it seems, the Toyama region. In an attempt to avoid the stench of hundreds of disgusting portajohns (squat ones no less) wafting around town, I decided to head for that all American institution – the mall! After 90 minutes of exploring the Toyama region (I wasn’t lost – I was enjoying the countryside) I arrived at AEON – the mega mall in Takaoka. It was like coming home. It even smelled like an American mall. It had the Body Shop, Toys R Us, 31 flavors, Starbucks – “sigh”. It was two floors of heaven. One of the shops, the artsy, Indian, incense burning store (we have those) was selling my yellow Peruvian table cloth that I bought in Peru for 5 bucks for 4ooo yen ($35). It’s at times like these that I think maybe I should go into business selling souvenirs to unsuspecting people. But I digress…… So, I ventured into the “exciting bookstore”, the Village Vanguard, and while purusing the extremely eclectic selection – I saw it – the reason I flew 6500 miles around the world – my Easter Island tissue box!!!!! For those of you who don’t know, this was on the top of my 2005 xmas list – but Target was out of stock and no one else had it – so no luck. And there it was – a huge pile with three different colors (including a glow-in-the-dark one).

EUREKA!!! It suddenly all made sense to me – this is why I am here. I was singing on the inside as I paid for my purchase – LOL. Also, for those of you who are interested, this store sells the famed Fuji breast squeeze balls, so let me know if you’d like one.
I’ve decided a monthly trip to AEON will be good for my soul.

Joy to the World!!

I have discovered that I can get all my favorite trashy romances novels and Uncle John's Bathroom readers via Amazon.co.jp!!!! How excited am I????? And I can pay for them at the conbini (aka the convenience store). How cool is Japan? Don’t rush out and buy me gift certificates though – it isn’t THAT cool – can’t use them with Japan Amazon.
Today I decided to clean my apartment. The dust bunnies were starting to multiple – horny little buggers. I have THE cutest little vacuum. It didn’t have much sucking power though. Which I later discovered was a result of there being 2 years worth of dust and other nastiness in the vacuum bag. Now I could have just thrown the one in there away and replaced it with a new one – but I could not even imagine the drama of trying to find new bags at the store – so I cleaned out the old one and reused it. Now the light on my little ‘cuum is green and it’s all systems go! That is one good thing about a small place – takes like 2 minutes to clean!!
So in other news – it seems the JET program is a bit like the “Love Boat”. A few of my fellow JETs have already hooked up. And I am very happy for two of them cause they are freaking cute together!! I feel a bit like Gopher – LOL.
Okay, I am off to chat with the freak-of-nature that keeps IMing me on Yahoo about his homosexual sex life. People – is there something wrong with the fact that I talk to this guy more then most of the folks back home?? I guess “any port in a storm” as the Bubster would say – LOL.
Off to party at the Owara Bon Festival later tonight! Octopus balls – whooo hoooo!